Assariyah Page 3

  CHAPTER 4

  I tossed and turned in Dino’s spare room. This was the first night in seven years that I had a comfortable bed to lay in but I couldn’t sleep. I could still hear the sound of the iron bars banging. The horrific screams deafened me, the sickening smell of burnt skin invaded my nostrils to the point I found myself retching. I tried hard to push the thoughts aside but they always found a way to resurface. I kept telling myself that I was now physically free from prison so I shouldn’t allow my mind to be imprisoned, but Holloway had a dreadful hold on me. The memories were much worse when I thought of girls like Lacey Lee. Lacey is serving a life sentence for the murder of her mother and stepfather.

  I met Lacey into the third year of my sentence. The first time I saw her was in the canteen. I was standing a few places behind her waiting for the poison they had the nerve to call food. I was taken aback when Tanya and her vile bitches knocked Lacey’s tray out of her hand and sent her food flying to the ground. She and her bitches spat all over the food. “Eat your dinner bitch,” Tanya ordered, while her bitches laughed hysterically.

  Lacey simply tried to walk away, the frightened look in her eyes burned my soul. I had wanted to help her but I was in no position to do so. I and many others watched as Tanya dragged Lacey back by her hair and kicked her down to the floor. She then used her foot to hold Lacey’s head down and forced her to eat off the floor like a dog. I hated myself for being a coward but I knew better than to mess with Tanya. She came from a family with powerful connections who made sure that the prison officers’ pockets were kept fat.

  The corrupt officers were worse than the cockroaches and fleas that plagued the prison’s walls. They often turned a blind eye to Tanya’s bullshit, only pretending to break things up when the damage was already done. Tanya had full reign of the prison and she caused havoc.

  I was one to keep myself to myself. I didn’t get involved in people’s business but something about Lacey drew me to her. Maybe it was the fact that she looked so young and vulnerable. I felt a need to look out for her. Weakness made you an easy target in that Godforsaken jungle. I looked for her everywhere but there was no sign of her. I didn’t see Lacey for several days after that incident and I feared the worse.

  However on the ninth day, while I was in my cell reading, I heard the cell door opening. I jumped up to see what was going on. “Jones you have a new roommate,” the officer called and left just as quickly, locking the cell behind her. Lacey was standing in front of me. She was pretty shaken and had some discolouration around her eyes. It was obvious that she had been beaten pretty badly and the wounds were healing slowly. Even with all the bruising there was no denying her beauty. She had a rich chocolate complexion, wild curly jet black hair, striking big brown eyes and the most beautiful cheekbones. I couldn’t help staring at her and thought of how sad it was that such beauty was wasted in this hellhole rather than gracing the cover of Vogue.

  I attempted to introduce myself to her, “I’m Assariyah, top bunk is yours.”

  She climbed onto the top bunk without saying a word.

  “Haven’t seen you around for some days, what happened to you?” I asked, but I still didn’t get a response.

  In fact Lacey didn’t say a word for a whole week. Then one evening after lockdown she just started talking.

  “All my life, all people have done is hurt me…”

  I was taken by surprise at first because I didn’t expect to ever hear a sound from her.

  “You talking to me?” I double checked, even though we were the only two people in the cell.

  “You asked what happened, I’m telling you but don’t interrupt me or I might lose my nerve.”

  I turned my full attention to her as she told me her story.

  “All my life all people have done is hurt me. That day after those girls attacked me in the canteen they came back to hurt me even more.”

  She took a slight pause, so I nodded my head gently and urged her with my eyes to carry on.

  “It was around 5 a.m. when a guard came into my cell. I knew it was early because I could hear the birds chirping. I asked him what he was doing. ‘Shut up and get up bitch. Don’t ask no fucking questions.’ My heart began to race, the fear he instilled in me ran deep through my veins. ‘Don’t make a single sound,’ he ordered. Then he groped me roughly while unzipping his trousers. ‘Suck my cock and I won’t hurt you.’ I was trapped. I wanted to scream but could barely breathe.”

  “He pushed me down and forced his dick in my mouth. I closed my eyes and cried silently as he hammered my mouth with animalistic force until he came. Once he finished he pulled up his trousers, reached in his pockets and threw me a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. I couldn’t believe the bastard’s insult. I wasn’t even a smoker but even if I was, was that supposed to make this okay? I didn’t dare to voice that though.”

  “I just wanted him gone but that was wishful thinking. ‘Follow me,’ he commanded. Panic paralysed my body, until he grabbed me and led me to the laundry room. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the group that had attacked me earlier waiting. Every fibre in my body willed me to run but I had no chance. The guard who was meant to be protecting me already abused his position and now he was feeding me to the wolves. ‘I’ll be back in an hour,’ he informed them. ‘No, please don’t leave me here,’ I cried but he simply walked out and locked the door behind him.”

  “The women started laughing and mimicking me and then the leader grabbed me. She ordered me to take off my clothes. When I refused she punched me in the face several times and ripped my clothes off. I cried out in excruciating pain until I had no tears left to cry. They took turns kissing, sucking, chewing and biting my pussy raw. They forced me to perform oral sex on them by sitting on my face. The one in charge forced weird things up my vagina, then they all took turns pissing on me.”

  “They were ruthless and laughed like a bunch of ferocious hyenas. I was sure that I was going to die that night, but after what seemed like an eternity in hell the guard returned.”

  “He argued with the leader when he saw my battered face. ‘Shit you’re getting sloppy. I can’t return her to the wing like this.’ She shrugged her broad shoulders and replied with nonchalance. ‘Do what you usually do, make up shit and throw her in the hole.’ And that’s exactly what he did.”

  My heart ached for her as I listened to her horrific ordeal. Although I’d never fallen victim to Tanya and her crew, I couldn’t escape the guards’ despicable abuse. Lacey’s horror was also my reality. I knew that part of her story all too well. My eyes filled with tears as I continued listening to Lacey.

  ”The funny thing about this bullshit is the reason I’m in this fucked up place is because I killed my mother and her bastard husband who was abusing me. I killed my mother because she knew and did fuck all to stop it. That pig abused me for twelve years. I was five years old when he first started coming to my room. I prayed every night that she would make him stop, but my prayers were unanswered.”

  “At sixteen I got pregnant and had my daughter Amelia. My so-called mother had the nerve to accuse me of sleeping around with guys and getting pregnant. I never thought she could be that cold. I cried and screamed at her that she knew Aston had been molesting me since I was five. ‘How can you lay with the man who abuses me?’ She yelled and slapped me and told me to stop spreading lies. I knew I had to get me and Amelia out of there, but first I had to save some money to get away.”

  “On the day I killed them, my mum sent me to the shop to buy some bread. I wanted to take Amelia but she insisted that I left her as she would only delay me. I was a bit reluctant as I never left Amelia alone but I figured I wouldn’t be long so it would be okay.”

  “I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I got back from the store I heard Amelia’s cries from the front door. I rushed in; my mum was on the sofa watching TV. ‘Mum can’t you hear Amelia crying?’ I asked as I rushed upstairs. When I walked into the room I screamed out in disgust and vomited at the
sight of Aston kneeling over Amelia and forcing himself in her mouth. ‘You bastard, you sick sick fuck, get off my baby,’ I yelled as I charged at him. He flung me across the room and had no intention of moving.”

  “I used all the strength I had in me to pick myself up and ran into their bedroom. I searched frantically through their chest of drawers until I found what I was looking for. I grabbed the gun and raced back into the other room. Amelia was still screaming, her cries were heart wrenching. ‘Aston get off my baby,’ I yelled, pointing his gun at his back. He just laughed, ‘What are you gonna do?’ I cocked the gun back, the sound made him turn around.”

  “When he saw me holding the gun he laughed again. ‘What you gon’ do, shoot me? Don’t be silly,’ he said walking towards me. I pulled the trigger and hit him directly in the chest. He dropped to the ground instantly and a pool of blood formed around him. My mum came rushing up the stairs when she heard the gun shot. ‘Aston,’ she cried when she saw his lifeless body on the floor. ‘What have you…’ I shot her three times, ending her miserable life before she could finish. She disgusted me, I hated her. She was a monster like Aston, if not worse.”

  The tears in my eyes fell as I listened to Lacey’s heart breaking story. She was also crying. Life is such a bitch. No one protected her and when she finally protected her baby and herself, she ended up being put in a cage for life and her daughter Amelia was trapped in the care system.

  Lacey and I grew closer over the years. On the day I was leaving we cried so much. It hurts to think of Lacey all alone behind those walls. When I get back on my feet I plan to send her some money. I don’t want her to think I have forgotten her. I wish I could adopt her daughter Amelia but because of my conviction that is not possible. I said a silent prayer for Lacey and Amelia and asked God to keep them safe from any more harm before finally closing my eyes for the night.

  CHAPTER 5

  I woke up with a banging headache which worsened when Dino walked into the room and pulled back the curtains without warning. I grimaced with pain as the sunlight burst through the room with great vengeance. I immediately threw the duvet over my head to block out the bright sunrays.

  “D, close the curtains,” I moaned.

  “Come on Rose, vampire season is over, I need you up,” he demanded, while pulling back the duvet.

  “Shit, I have the worst headache, I just need to rest D.”

  “Sorry, no can do. I’ve made you breakfast. Get that down you with paracetamol and you’ll be fine.”

  I knew I was fighting a losing battle and had no choice but to reluctantly pull myself out of bed with great difficulty.

  I sat at the table with my head throbbing. I could barely eat the croissants, scrambled eggs and fresh fruit that Dino had prepared. He handed me a box of paracetamol and a glass of water to drink.

  “Sorry to be pushy Ma, but I’m tryna get you back on your own feet sooner rather than later. It’s best for both of us.”

  I nodded my head, but was still fuming at being disturbed prematurely. I knew if it was up to D I could stay as long as I needed, but he was working under Isabella and I had to go.

  “I’ve got two stacks for you. I know it’s not much and is far less than what you’re used to, but use it to get yourself right. If things go as planned you could be working tonight and you need to be ready.”

  “Damn, that quick, thank you D,” I said.

  “Yep, so get ready and I’ll drop you off at Westfield before I go to work.”

  After taking a shower my headache seemed to have subsided. I guess the paracetamol took effect after all. I got redressed in Nayla’s clothes, soon I’d be rid of them for good, thank goodness. I ruminated over what to do with the two grand D gave me. I thought of walking away from this destructive game, but realistically how far could two grand take me? I needed to stack up money that would stretch for years to come and two grand was play dough. I was grateful to D for the start, but I knew we were on borrowed time and I had to move fast.

  Dino dropped me off at the Westfield in Stratford rather than the one in Shepherd’s Bush as it was further away from Isabella’s office and we were less likely to be seen together. It had been so long since I went shopping, so many new trends, but I was more of a classic type of girl anyway. Fashion was part of my DNA and no matter how long I may have been away from the scene I would bounce back. Some things are just innate.

  As I approached the Prada store, I remembered the good old days and how I used to kill all the designer stores. Shit, most of the managers and assistants knew me by name. When I was in the building, commission was fat. This time I had to admire Miuccia’s luxury from outside. Damn, it hurt to walk past Prada, but I had to be wise. I had to spend the money that D gave me prudently.

  I ended up in Zara and was on cloud nine. Although it wasn’t a designer brand, I could definitely work with the pieces. I was in rebound love. I spent a good amount in Zara before heading to another store for underwear. I picked up a few racy numbers that I knew would drive potential clients crazy and headed to the till.

  When I got to the till the woman behind the counter turned pasty-white. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

  “Are you all right love?” I asked, feeling quite uneasy myself. I really didn’t like the way she was looking at me.

  “Oh gosh I’m so sorry… it’s just that you bear a striking resemblance to a lady I saw in the paper this morning.”

  “Me, darling? You must be mistaken. I’m just a bored housewife who has nothing better to do than to spend her husband’s hard-earned money,” I lied.

  She let out an awkward laugh and I smiled.

  I looked around to see if anyone was behind me, but there wasn’t so I decided to probe further.

  “Just out of curiosity, what was the article about?” I asked, trying to throw off suspicion.

  She hesitated before answering, “Oh… it was about a lady who killed her ex-best friend in a jealous rage. She just got out of jail and is now harassing her sister.”

  A lump formed in my throat as I tried my best to feign ignorance. “My God, that is terrible. Well I can assure you darling, that’s definitely not me. I have been told I look like a lot of people but a murderer, that’s a first,” I retorted.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, but the resemblance is uncanny.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s fine. You don’t happen to have the paper do you? It would be interesting to see my look-alike.”

  “Actually I do,” she said, while reaching under her till. She turned to the article and handed me the paper.

  “My goodness she really does look like me. Well I can’t have that, imagine the chaos this could cause. My husband would go absolutely berserk.”

  “See, I told you she looks just like you.”

  “Sorry, but this has really shaken me. Could you please ring me up, I need to get out of here.”

  I paid for the underwear and raced out of the store as quickly as I could. I wasn’t sure if the lady bought my story but this was all the way bad. I hailed a taxi outside and kept my head down throughout the journey. I couldn’t risk being recognised again. I got the driver to drop me off a few streets before D’s place. I hopped out of the cab and paid the fare. I walked to D’s as quickly as I could with my head down.

  The thought of my face blasted all over the papers because of Nayla made me indignant. The fucking bitch was sitting on half of what was rightfully mine and as if that wasn’t bad enough, she was selling false stories about me. How the fuck was I supposed to live with people pointing fingers? Look at the shit that happened in the store today. Okay I know my face was in the papers when the incident first happened but that was years ago and people quickly forget old news. She had to go and refresh everyone’s fucking memory. To make matters worse, her false accusations could land me back in jail and I’d be damned if I ever end up behind bars again. I’d die first.

  I was on fucking edge. I paced up and down the flat like a mad woman unt
il D returned. As soon as I heard him walk through the door I pounced on him but before I could say a word he held up a copy of the article that the store assistant had shown me earlier.

  “D, what the fuck I’m I going to do?”

  “Stay calm Ma.”

  “Stay calm! D how the heck I’m I supposed to stay calm?”

  “Look Rose, shit’s out there now, all you can do is change up your look.” He threw a bag my way. “Decide what look you’re going for and do it fast. The client called, you’re booked for tonight,” he stated and walked off.

  I looked through the bag, there was a variety of hair dyes and contact lenses. I headed to the bathroom to get down to business. I didn’t fancy being blonde so went for red. I chose the hazel-green contacts as they seemed to suit me and my new fiery red flame hair best. When I looked in the mirror I almost didn’t recognise myself so I knew D would be pleased.

  “Wow who’s this stranger up in my house? You look amazing Rose. I told you not to worry. The guy I want you to meet will be blown away. Get dressed without delay and I’ll brief you in the car Ma.”

  “D, I’m not so sure about this anymore.”

  “You know time is ticking, I can’t keep you here for much longer Rose. You’ve gotta stand on your own.”

  CHAPTER 6

  Dino dropped me off outside Soban in Raynes Park where I was meeting the client he had set me up with. A real sense of déjà vu hit me. Here I was about to repeat my past, even though I promised myself a long time that I would never walk down this path again. Still, here I was all the same. As I walked towards the entrance I caught sight of my reflection in the window and had to do a double take. I still needed time to adjust to being a fiery red head.